whoops. this is really embarrassing.
the remotely controlled car was really remotely controlled today.
i swear it was weird, different from normal, just messed me up.
crashed into chairs, get stopped by a finger, veered off the road and god knows what else.
but it really was stupid, just not right. (and pressing the forward button doesn't make the car go straight)
and yes yes i know. some will brag that i was dumb. i suck and what yes and what not.
but then they defend themselves by saying that they didn't say they could drive better.
Yet they say i can't make it. okay...okay... i get it...whatever...

apart from that, not much happenings today.
mood was really slack. no one wanted to do any work.

day went really smooth i guess.

so many happenings today. but what a relief from workertude now.

Maths test was a killer.
But i was inches away from finishing it. seconds rather.
The number of seconds they gave was really out out out.
pratically no one finished the paper. much less the 3 bonus questions.
Weird. Oh and they are weird.
I've got no idea why we are doing back to back to back topics, one after the other.
Think they think its double weightage, so they double the number of topics without doubling the amount of time.
So now, we're driven mad by maths. mad with maths.

English test today was worrying though.
word limit was 500 but everyone in my table-centre wrote above it.
Everyone except me. 400 and less.
if i don't break hearts and tears, then my content is poor in itself.
Oh no....

Then had 3 step jump today. track and field, heats and finals.
quite satisfied i guess, though i wanted a 4th.
got fifth thought. 1st 3 were trip jumpers. 4th was pole vaulter. 5th was noob tennis player.
Yay!

And then i went to drive cars. remotely controlled.
For the ripb.
I know, i know. many will say i ain't that smart.
But i just sold myself, so i cant buy myself back.
But really, i guess it isnt that bad, apart from it being the prefectorial doarb.
So watch how straight i drive tmr. no crookednesss....

At least today is less worrying than yesterday.
time to relax a little. nothing till monday.

what a worrisom day this day must end in.

either i die from educational death from my own stupidity.
the worse being that a single big circle will be drawn in red
with the connection line going all the way to my superiors before i can say a thing
and then a black stain will be left
all because of this stupidity and stupid thing i did.

but all that won't matter if i die. no i'm serious

i can also die from intestinal bleeding.
Opened a can of drink (i swore i didn't see anything on the can before i opened)
Took a gulp.
Found a something in that gulp (i swear such canned coffee don't have solid coffee seeds in there)
Swallowed both the little thing and the coffee down.
Stuck in my throat for some time.
Realised that may be it could be a chip of the can.
Start coffing it out, to no avail.
Disappeared suddenly. Whether it came out or went in, i have no idea.
Actually realsie how serious it is and i may get intestinal bleeding and i may die (depending on how serious it is)
What stupidity.

what worries to tarnish this day.
i hate it.
i hate myself...

Pathetic and Disgust.
All that rubbish i did today.
Really didn't think about the consequences before i blurted out.
more than half of the many things and troubles incurred during school days are caused by this lack of thinking. If only we were smart enough to think. Sighs...
I hate myself for all this. worse still, may get others into trouble. feeling really bad...
Its the second major incident of this new year this new class. i've only just whacked myself in the back again. to kill myself.
To be really honest, i dont think it did really add more help. Cause i so happened to have done it.
But i guess really its excuses, self comforting and all that.
Things i should not have done is done. can only face the music now...
Thanks to some really good people, i've seen some light.
Otherwise i'll still be in the darkness. really. i'm not being stupid
but i guess i do really hate myself. For doing all all this....
I'm sorry....


To less personal stuff, ss lessons on racism was really insightful.
Some really interesting, sad, tragic reasonings of this useless human society.
Selfishness, self-idiocy.
But i like to see such insights. It enlightens my life...

Choking!

I choked today. literally. i dunno if you know whats kuay pai ti, some peranakan dish.
Its delicious. A bit like po piah, just with a hard deep fried shell instead of a soft skin.
When you fit it in your mouth, its quite big cos your mouth is small.
So....
Filled mouth. Laughed. Went down the throat. Choked!
I had to cough it out.
My first brush with choking.
But it was really quite funny.

Okay...now to less funny choking matters.
Homework! 3 test in the next 2 days.
I'm choking from it.
The english personal narrative is so difficult.
As jarrell said. Its easier if we were given a single topic on the spot instead of 10 topics before hand.
And the topics are irritating, those that are hard to find impactful content to write on.
But because ms kuang gave us the topics before hand, she'll expect more.
So now, its difficult to do it. 10 topics! Sighs...
And there's still the worse combination of tests ever, chinese and maths as well.
Things that take a lot a lot of time.
This is killing me!

Manchester Nerves

The first time in a long long time man utd play at prime time S'pore i.e. 8.40pm they had to put me on nerves.
The stupid small pitch. i hate it. Doesn't give us room to play.
Luckily we made it through, 2-1 thanks to ronaldo!
But my heart was really pounding.

Apart from that, i haven't done much.
Touched up the english blog, which was useless cause it isn't due till like next week.
Still have 3 tests to study within this night and the rest of tomorrow.
And finding a life story to tell a life story is a life story on its own!
Its so difficult getting a personal story for the personal narrative test.
Oh my...

The Cross On My Door!

Explored about Jonny and his believes in christianity.
It all started out with insults.

He spoke if the meaning of life. I thought it to be rather interesting.
What is my meaning of the meaning of life? I don't really have one i guess.
Perhaps, because i can never sum it up.
Perhaps, because i've never thought about it.
I think its both.
Jonny had his own, but they were christian believes, christian assumptions.
I don't think its totally wrong, its whether you choose to have your faith in it.

But what i realised was that i don't really have a meaning in life.
I kinda, sorta take life as it is and never really questioned why i am here (that assumes i'm put here for a purpose.)
Perhaps, i could start to question my meaning of life. I think i'll understand my life better.
I'm sure i would.

Jonny also said having a meaning in life brings contentment.
He told me the difference between happy-go-lucky and one who's contented.
And also that one should be contented or he never would.
But of course its subjective and controversial. I dont totally agree with it, but i guess there is some truth or other in it.

But i like talking about such things, it brings meaning and understanding.

But still, dont get excited knowing i've got a cross on my door and my grandmother's christian, when i'm not.

Impressionism

2 mnths old, i'm giving the wrong impressions.
Its little, its small, its minute. I know to some it doesn't matter. But to me it does.

I couldn't stop that gaping hole in on my head, just above my chin, from opening.
I had to, just had to. And of course i did.
That kinda put off some people, actually 1 person in particular.
--and its bad.

Like i said, its little things...but i have lost that trust.
Of course its trust in little things, unimportant, personally personal things.
But thats the basis of friendship. Its these so very minute, unimportant things that count.
Its precisely because they are of such personal (impactless) importance, that if others can trust you with it, it says a lot.

But, yet, i lost.
I've gotta make amends,
I've gotta change the ticking of the clock...

The Watch Is Finished.
Now, i can time my life.
Little bits of twitches are still needed,
but the watch and clock is ticking.

Watch the life tick...

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Manually refresh the page to see your timed-words appear.